Twitter Horror: El Monterey Chimichangas

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Twitter Horror: El Monterey Chimichangas

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Twitter Horror: El Monterey Chimichangas

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I tried my hand at Twitter Fiction this evening. Or I was just talkin’ about delicious El Monterey frozen chimichangas. One or the other:

So get this: I’m at the grocery store buying those microwave chimichangas I like so much (El Monterey) and when I open the freezer case there’s what appears to be a human corpse with endless chasms of pure darkness where its eyes used to be? pic.twitter.com/NWxF9LJcYb

— Nathferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) (@Humanstein) October 17, 2019

He said the “Dark Time” was coming that there was nothing we could do but become food. Also the directions on the package is wrong. You wanna zap these bad boys for 45 seconds, then flip and tap it down the flat part with a spoon to spread the beans out, then another 45 seconds.

— Nathferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) (@Humanstein) October 17, 2019

My ears won’t stop ringing and there’s a distinct tenderness and heat around my eyes. It may surprise you but there is actually a DISTINCT quality difference between the El Monterey frozen burritos and the El Monterrrey frozen chimixhabdgas

— Nathferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) (@Humanstein) October 17, 2019

The tortilla on the chimichanga is way better. It holds up to the microwave and is less likely to harden like the skin around my very sore, bloodshot eyes. It’s flakier too. I don’t know if it’s just in my head but the temperature seems more consistent with the chimichangas too.

— Nathferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) (@Humanstein) October 17, 2019

Regarding temperature, the meat and beans can sometimes get really hot and burst out of the tortilla if you don’t do the spoon tapping thing but the spoon tappint thing isn’t working on my eyes which feel like they’re melting out of my goddamn boiling skull and we’re all going to

— Nathferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) (@Humanstein) October 17, 2019